Deconstructing a Flight…
Okay, I haven’t blogged recently…. something of a letdown after my post-craziness last week (and the week before). The reason being, I’ve been a little busy visiting my parents in Philadelphia. It was a surprise that I was coming (only had a couple weeks notice) so I was really psyched to make the trip. I got here Thursday night, and I’m going back to KC tomorrow, but I’ve really enjoyed my time here. However, my material for this post comes from my experience prior to ever arriving in Philly… or having a cheese steak… in fact, I was laughing and enjoying myself before my plane ever got off the ground in KC…It was on this flight, that something quite ordinary happened that managed to make me smile… they gave the FAA regulated safety features of the plane. Seems quite boring, right? Sounds like something you would just put your nose in your book and miss, right? Not me.
Did you know that the bottom cushion of the seat can be used as a floatation device? Yep, in the event of a water landing, your seat can come apart and you can use the bottom part of the seat to float in the water until somebody comes and gets you.
Here’s the part that made me laugh… I was hearing this for the first time of the day on Thursday while waiting to take off on a flight from Kansas City to Dallas, Texas. Since your odds of survival in a water crash are much higher than a land crash, if we go down somewhere inbetween KCI and DFW, and the pilate manages to hit enough water that I don’t die on impact… he needs a raise… or the airline needs to get sued because we had no reason to be over the Gulf of Mexico. Imagine, the plane goes down in the Red River… everybody dies because of the shallow water level… then all the seats start popping to the surface… Hey! They worked!
AAAAAAaaaand, in honor of my posting about one of the most over used forms of material in the comedy world, I thought I would post some of my favorite airline lines from a couple of comedians…
“If we suddenly lose cabin pressure and there is a bright, yellow oxygen mask swinging in front of your face… and you can’t figure out **BREATHE!!**, your DNA does not need to be passed on…” — Kenn Kington
“I was on this one flight, and I don’t want to mention the name of the airline, but me and my luggage were not united. ‘We’re number one, most on-time flights!’ Of course you are on time, because you take don’t time to put on the luggage!”– Nazareth
“You are much safer in the air then you are on the ground… because everyone in the air is a professional… everyone on the ground is a lunatic. There’s no air rage… ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, please fasten your seatbelts while I teach the Delta pilot not to cut us off on the runway’…”– John Branyan