Long Shift = Deep ****
So yeah… it’s Christmas time again. Now, even though I work in retail, I still love Christmas time. Unlike the effect of working in the fast food biz has on your desire for fast food, there is something about the Christmas season that no matter what gook your bosses put you through can kill. To be honest, part of the reason I love the Christmas season is because all of the Haloween decorations are gone. I like scaring people as much as the next guy (the expressions are priceless), but I don’t mind seeing all the black, orange and red give way to light blues, silver and white. I mean, if we wanted to be brutal, I would never choose to be surrounded by bloodied up costumes, skeletons, and pseudo-demoniacs over naked-baby-angels, reindeer, and a pregnant teenager (Mary) ever…
But there is one thing about Christmas that does get a tad irritating… “Holiday Hours”. The extra hour of sleep is enjoyable, the ability to work more hours (and hence, recieve a bigger check) is relatively nice as well… what sucks is when you are having to stay two hours later than normal to cleanse the havok wreaked by little kids tweaking on sugar three hours past their bedtime. Christmas shopping is fine. After all, it is fun to watch people freak out over products that they would never otherwise buy…… Billy the singing BigMouth Bass, anybody? But the problem is that some retailers (ie, MINE!) tend to put a buttload of stuff on sale at this time of year. Then they re-hire some dolt like myself who knows how to set up and take down the ad signs, and let me take down the old signs… all night long. Not only did I have a long shift that ended way late, but I was doing one of the most mind-numbing jobs on the planet.
So… we close an hour later than normal (11 PM instead of 10), and it looks like a tornado has hit the lion’s share of the aisles. Or a flock of tweaked out little kids with too much Mt. Dew and an entire bag of “party size” Twix… and there is little ole me in the midst of the chaos hunting for sale signs that expire today. I’m sure that I looked like I had escaped from a ghetto re-make of “Rain Man”. Just call me “Drizzle Fo’Shizzle Homie”.
At first I thought I was just being lazy… until I pushed my two carts full of signage into the signing office and my boss walked in. I believe the gist of what he said was, “Hooooooly…. Crumb!” (wrong word, but I can’t print the right one). To make matters more interesting, we left something like four carts worth of product for the morning crew to put up because we ran out of time. So even though I clocked out at something like 12:40 AM, at least I know that it isn’t because I was a lazy-butt.